6 Things We Need To Make Sure Young Moms Can Do By 2033

This post was inspired by the post 10 Things We Need To Make Sure American Women Can Do By 2040 from Everyday Feminism. I took the twenty year approach because, well, I’m impatient. I chose six things because, well, I wanted YOU to come up with the other four. 

1. Be able to take our children to the park/grocery store/mall and not have to deal with disdain from other people.

“Other people” can be rude as sh**. I’ve also had people ask me if my two children have the same father (they do), if I got pregnant on purpose (I didn’t), and if I’m still “involved” with their father (I am). It’s disrespectful, but because my family looks different (i.e., young and parenting), the disrespect is assumed to be okay. And it isn’t. I’ve since come to disregard any negative/hurtful comments strangers sling my way, but everyone should be able to go about their daily lives, parenting their kids, without having to encounter some smart-mouthed bully.

2.  Be able to be taken seriously by our child’s teachers, doctors, coaches, etc. and not be condescended to because of our age.

“Wow, how old are you?” If I ever hear that question again, it’ll be too soon. I’ve had people pull my daughter aside and ask her how old I was. Medical specialists (highly educated people who should know better) have talked down to me when I sought treatment for my daughter’s asthma. It doesn’t often matter what other people think of you, but when their opinions affect how your children are treated, then it counts for a whole lot. In the coming years I hope that people see young parents as just that—parents who are young.

3. Be able to say that we are single mothers and proud, and not have someone treat us differently because of it.

Let me say this one time: Single mothers are not the cause of the nation’s problems. They just…aren’t. Most of the time, single mothers are hardworking women trying to do the best they can with the resources they’ve got. If you want to blame anyone, wag your finger at the deadbeats who don’t call nor send a dime in child support. But I digress. Single motherhood is not a disease and you are not helping it to spread by supporting those who are parenting solo. Haven’t we learned by now that families come in all shapes and numbers? By 2033, I hope we have.

4. Have access to safe, reliable birth control that we choose and not be pressured into or out of our decisions.

I adore my OB/GYN for his calm manner and efficient practice, but it still bugs me to no end that we did not have a greater discussion about my decision to ask for a tubal ligation. At the time, I was 22 and pregnant with my second child. But because of my age, I was asked to consider long-term hormonal birth control. I consented because the rates were roughly the same, even though there are always risks to hormonal methods. But if I am truly have autonomy over what happens to my body, as an adult woman I should be able to go to most doctors and get some permanent birth control, regardless if it’s the choice that they would make.

5. Receive support from public agencies instead of shameful ads.

I’ve already talked about New York City’s teen pregnancy prevention ads and how shame is an ineffective tactic to decrease teen pregnancies. In 20 years, I hope we’ve moved past that message and have developed ways to come to terms with the fact that there will always be teen parents. Always. Unless we start giving 9-year-olds mandatory ten-year IUDs, there will always be teen parents. Teens will have sex and either they won’t use birth control or the birth control will fail. It is a part of life and the sooner we accept that, the better off everyone will be.

6. Be able to see ourselves represented in media.

I created this website because I was tired of watching A Baby Story and never seeing any young parents. I was tired of looking at the magazines in my OB/GYN’s waiting room and feeling like I was invisible. I couldn’t afford a $800 stroller nor would I want to spend that time of money. Where was the perspective of black moms? Young moms? Divorced moms? Single moms? Single moms by choice? Lesbian moms? Moms of special needs children? Where was the diversity? Blogging has transformed the landscape, allowing women to create their own spaces. Bloggers like Denene Millner from MyBrownBaby or Gloria Malone from Teen Mom NYC didn’t wait for the mainstream media to validate their experiences; they took the lead and brought their voices to the forefront. By 2033, our voices will be louder than ever and no young mom should ever have to feel like she’s alone on her journey.

Speak your piece in the comments – what do you think young parents should be able to do by 2033?