It was such an innocent question. We were driving home from picking up my daughter at school and my daughter, quiet most of the ride home, starts babbling about something. I turn down the radio and ask her to repeat the question.
“Mommy, I asked you if you have any friends,” she says.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Well, I was just wondering…” she says, her voice trailing off. “I don’t know if you have any friends.”
My jaw drops. Yes, I am a bit of a hermit (give me some sweatpants and an undiscovered series on Netflix and you just described my favorite way to spend a weekend) but really, little girl? I have friends. Lots of them. And I tell my daughter as much.
“Like who?” she asks.
Is this girl really questioning me? “Well, let’s see…I have your Auntie No-No, and Miss Courtney and…” my voice trails off. Those are the only people she knows. Everyone else is a “hang out away from the kids” type of friend.
Isn’t it funny how the most innocent remarks from kids can get you thinking? I don’t get much girlfriend time these days and I’m trying to come to terms with that. While there are plenty of women who can balance friendships, work and motherhood with ease, I, unfortunately, am not one of them. I find myself apologizing for missing calls or taking too long to return an email and then I just figure maybe my friends should move on to someone who is better at all this.
I’m grateful to have friends who understand how crazy my life is (a recent voicemail from a friend simply said, “Quit blogging and call me back” LOL) and who don’t make me feel bad about it. That’s definitely a bonus these days, as I’ve got 40 hours worth of work to squeeze into a 24-hour day. When I do get together with my friends, it’s wonderful. I really enjoy the way hanging out with my girlfriends reminds me of how much more I am than “just” a mom (much like my recent date night). My daughter’s question reminded me of that.
How important is “girl time” to you? How often do you get to hang out with your friends, without your kids?
Girl time is super important to me but as you know – it’s hard. Date nights are also important to me so trying to squeeze it all in can be tough. My girl friends and I try to have a monthly dinner. Last Tuesday of each month – it’s on the calendar and we try to stick to it as best as we can. We also make sure to get together for birthdays and just because days as much as we can.
Children boil things down to the essentials don’t they? I probably see my friends even less often now that my kids are teenagers. They just seem to need us at home more right now, even though they’re breaking free…