by Sarah Valois
Going along with Tara’s posts on body acceptance, I’ve begun reflecting on my own self love journey. Well, more like trying to get out of a self hate rut.
After becoming pregnant with my first, I felt pretty lucky. Eight months into it, I looked great with my perfect belly. Until one day, BAM! Stretch marks. Seriously, they came out of no where! Fast forward to after labor and recovery and I reached my pre pregnancy weight with in a year but those damned stretch marks were there to scar me forever. But I didn’t know how good I had it until I became pregnant with my second.
My body is comfortable between 130-135lbs. Right before delivery, I weighed in at a whopping 195lbs. I let myself go a little bit. But my belly was also bigger this time around. If I thought stretch marks were bad, nothing compared to the lose skin.
My kids are older now; my youngest will be turning three in a few months and I’m still battling my body woes daily. Some days I won’t even look in the mirror so I can repress all the negativity I feel towards my body. I have stretch marks everywhere from my boobs, near my armpits, the inside of my thighs, my hips and tummy. It is what it is. It’s not going away and it won’t get better if and when I have more children. Here is a picture of me, two years and ten months after giving birth to my second child.
Look at that tummy. Do you know what that tummy did last year? It ran FIVE 5k races. What does it matter what it looks like? On the inside, I am a BEAST. I’m trudging through the mud day in and day out. Regardless of what my body looks like after growing two human beings inside of me, I couldn’t be more proud of myself.
I am making 2013 MY year to learn to love myself. I am done comparing myself and my life to others. This is my journey and nobody can walk it for me. 2013 will be the year I make peace with myself.