From The Vault: Why Won’t You Ask For Help?

This mama is going on a bit of a break this holiday season, but don’t fret! In between some of the new content, I’m revisiting some of my most popular posts for the newbies to our community. This piece was originally published June 2010, right before I started graduate school. 

Got my letters of recommendation handy, my $30 application fee, and my written statement so I’m all ready to apply to graduate school.

Starting in the fall, I will be in class two nights a week, getting home anywhere between 8 and 9:30, after working a full day at work. Then I’ll have assignments and reading to do, plus the upkeep of this blog and all it entails. Oh, and did I mention I’m also a freelance writer and guest blogger on a couple different blogs?

Yeah, I’m gonna need help.

And I’m FINALLY at the point where I can accept that fact. Before, I would have just driven myself crazy trying to make sure that the fridge stayed stocked, the clothes were always clean, dinner was hot and ready to go at 5:30 and I was still available to be the super nice, sexy wife I used to be for about three months in 2007.

Not this time. This time I’m sitting down and coming up with a list of things I can do to make my life easier. And heck, isn’t that what we all want? I was inspired by my buddy Akilah and the wisdom she spits in her book and to anyone who’ll listen. She always knows what to say to any mom who feels like she’s on the ledge.

So I’ve been thinking. What’s my priority? If I have some free time, how do I absolutely need to be spending it? For the next two years, it’s going to be family + school. Period.

So here’s my list. In true Execumama-style, I challenge you to write your own list, of things you are currently doing but need to quit. These are things that are not adding to your life, but rather, draining energy you could be using to do something more enjoyable, like, say, SLEEP!

1) Quit relying solely on relatives to watch the kids. I’m getting a babysitter. I know I’m fortunate to have parents who love to have their grandbabies over for the entire weekend, but they can’t drop everything for me every time I need a break. Shoot, grandma needs to have a life too! My mom was a young mom and I sometimes I feel like I’m getting in the way of her finally enjoying her empty nest. I’m getting a good babysitter and she will become my best buddy as I try to get this degree.

2) I’m going to finally, once and for all, accept the fact that my house will not look like two adults live here, but that this is a home of a family of four. And the two littlest ones are toddlers. They make messes. I won’t freak out.

3) I’m going to buy a planner and I am going to put my life in that thing. I will schedule study time, and relaxation time, and cooking time and playtime with the kids. If I gotta do it, it’s going in there. I don’t need to be thinking about what’s next. I will simply look down and say, “Why, yes, I do have to go grocery shopping today.”

4) Work on more projects that pay me actual MOOLA! Some projects are near and dear to my future goals, so those will stay, but these other gigs that are just “nice to do” but don’t put any money in my pocket so I can actually afford the aforementioned babysitter? They have to get cut back, or eliminated completely.

5) More guest posts. I love this blog with all my heart, so I do not want it to suffer as I’m drowning in a sea of homework. So – I have some plans to feature more moms, to have YOU all give your two cents about whatever is going on in your life, and give you a place where people can applaud all that you do. How does that sound? Good, right?


Now it’s your turn. Give me one thing that you can do that will make your life easier – starting today. Don’t be shy – let me hear you!


  1. Love. I know this was written TWO YEARS ago, but this applies to me TODAY! Thanks, Tara.