When You’re My Age: My Hopes And Dreams For My Children In Adulthood

Dear Ayanna and Thomas, 

This past week I participated in a Twitter chat with other moms (that may or may not make sense to you depending on when you’re reading this, so bear with me). During the chat, they asked me what I hoped your life looked like when you were 21 or 45. It’s hard for me to look into the future, but the question stayed with me and I’m trying my best to answer it now. 

Well, I can tell that you two have very distinct personalities. Ayanna, you are a bit more calm and thoughtful, like me. Thomas, you are a ball of energy and you are always on the go. Ever since birth, I’ve marveled at how well your personalities continue to stay along the same path. 

I hesitate to say what type of career you’ll end up in, but if I had to guess I’d say Ayanna will be a lawyer or a doctor, all the way. Your memory is unparalleled and your attention to detail impresses me so much. You fight for what’s right and you don’t let me slouch on the rules with your brother. What’s the law is the law. With Thomas, I’m guessing you’ll be a chef. It just suits you. You love food just as much as I do and the fast pace seems to be a match for your energy level. 

But if you choose to be anything else, hey, that’s fine with me. My main goal is that you find your passion and you pursue it with all your might. I want you to, yes, learn from my example. To know that any goal is attainable if you make it your mission. By the time you’re 21, I hope you will be a good chunk of the way through college and/or have your first taste of entrepreneurship.

I hope you’ve been on enough dates to know what kind of person is worth your time and who isn’t. I hope you know how to cook a good meal. I hope you know how to stand up for yourself if someone’s making you upset. I hope you know how to live within your means. I hope you know how to express yourself in a way so others will listen. I hope we’re still close, both physically and emotionally. I hope we reach the point where I become more of a friend and a guide as you embark on adulthood. 

I hope you’re happy. I hope you bounce back from disappointments quickly. I hope you value yourself and understand just how much you have to contribute to this world. I hope you vote regularly. I hope you’re healthy. I hope you have a gang of friends you can count on through life’s trials. I hope you are a good dancer. I hope you’ve found a great outlet for stress. 

By time you’re 45, I hope you still know that I love you more than anything. I hope you’ve figured out your place in life and feel content with the choices you’ve made. I hope you have someone who loves you, even if it’s just a really great best friend. I hope you’re happy. 

I hope you’re happy. 


  1. This post had me choked up. I also participated in the chat and I could not help but to think about that question as well. I am currently enjoying every moment with my children that as soon as that question was asked, I had to really put thought into it. Quit simply I want my children happy and healthy. I do not want them to be saddened by the many things in their lives but to be joyful and grateful for what they have. There are tons of other things I think about when I think of them at age 45 but for now, I just want to enjoy them as a 4 and 1 year old.

  2. This is so moving! I gave birth to my my 3rd child, 1 daughter about 7 weeks ago. Her pending birth inspired me to do 30 days of life lessons for her and my boys. I’ve also wanted to do an open letter like this! I love, love, love. It’s so funny how no matter what part of the world you reside, most mothers want the same things for their children!

  3. This letter is so touching! Your wishes for your children is heartfelt and rounded. You’ve inspired to write a letter to mine. Thanks!

  4. My hope for Amani is that she knows that she is strong.It amazes me how strong and tough she is. An dher strength has shown me that I too am strong. I hope she has a career that she loves. i hope she knows that when she was first born and i was scared i still loved her more than anything in this world.

  5. I hope you’re happy… yes…. THAT! Very touching. I loved this.

  6. I can’t even express how awesome that letter is. You’re are so thoughtful about your kids and I hope that they make you proud.