by Scott from HomeDaddys.com
So I’m not the breadwinner of the family, so what?
Now that wasn’t my initial reaction a few years back when I lost my job but I’ve grown accostomed to my role in life. I like my place in this thing we call life. I relish it, and I have come to the realization that for the foreseeable future, that’s going to be where I fit in.
My wife does accounting work here in Western Pennsylvania and is very successful, bringing home a nice little paycheck that dwarfed me in comparison to my old job. When it was time to make the decision to either get a scab job somewhere just to say I’m working, or to stay at home and take care of my 3-year princess, it took one conversation between me and the wife to come to the conclusion that it was better for all three parties that I become the stay at home dad.
I started my own blog at www.homedaddys.com to not only keep my sanity, but to give everyone a chance to share their thoughts from a guy’s point of view on the positions we were thrust into, whether by choice or not.
The first thing I thought of when becoming a stay at home dad was how much I could cherish my time with the little princess. She is my pride and joy, just as every kid should be to each and every parent. Did she have the terrible 2s and 3s? Yes she did. Did I think it was going to be all fun and games spending morning, noon and night with her? Absolutely. Oh how wrong I was. I still have become more handy around the house than I ever thought I was going to be, but it doesn’t allow me the time to do what I initially thought I’d be able to accomplish.
You would think that you have all of the time in the world for projects around the house (yes, guy projects that let me keep my man card), but that’s definitely not the case. A typical day for a stay at home dad is getting the wife’s lunch ready, getting the little princess up and going with some breakfast and cartoons, a snack here and there, a nap (hopefully for everyone’s sake!) in the afternoon, and then get dinner ready for when my wife gets home. Now that doesn’t sound like too too much to accomplish, but I was dead wrong in my timeline assessment.
If everything worked out perfect, yeah, I’d have time to do odds and ends around the house. That just isn’t the case. You work around the kid’s time, not yours. You have to be the caretaker at all times when she is at that age. Granted, I love every minute of it, but it wasn’t what I expected. Times when I sit and think to myself that I’m frustrated and wish I was back at work, she gives me the cutest little smile or says just the right thing to know that someone up above put me in this position for whatever reason, and it is my “job” to take it and run with it.
One other thing that came to my mind was how was I going to tell my family and friends that I’m a stay at home dad? Guys have pride. Guys have that one thing about them that they feel as if they are “suppose” to be the one providing the family. Well guess what? Times have changed. I have accepted the role of Michael Keaton and I’m good with that now. Do I take some jabs from my friends from time to time? Sure, but when you are trying to live your life the best way you know how for your little one, you learn to have thick skin.
The past few years have been a whirlwind experience that I never thought I would go through. My little girl has turned into my own little princess and it is something that I will never forget, something that I would have never gotten the opportunity to do if I was working.
So I am still holding my man-card, even though my wife is the moneymaker. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Wonderful!!!!!!! I love hearing about stay-at-home parenting from a dad’s point of view. All too often, dads are not given the opportunity to voice their opinions and experiences on being a stay-at-home parent. My husband stayed at home with our little girl when she was first born and absolutely loved it! Now that he is working full time again, he often admits that he misses the time he spent with our little girl. This was great!!
I have always wondered what it would be like in your situation. Lots of guys are in the same situation especially with the world economy the way it is. When I collect the boys at school sometimes I see many dads who are playing the same role.
I would like to give a shout out to all dads in your position & it goes without saying to mothers too. My wife & I chat about the difficulties of trying to raise two kids. When you are working in business, you have customers to please and sometimes difficult customers, but kids are the worst customers in the world. They are constantly demanding, extremely irrational, & prone to extreme mood changes. The joys of having kids aside, if anyone had a choice between a career outside the home and full time parenting they would choose the former.
On the positive side, I agree that it’s a special time. Kids grow up so fast and in the long run I think you will be glad you did it. Easy to say for me but I do believe that. Imagine in years to come one of your kids reminds you of some special memory. Some experience that has stayed with them. Priceless.