I am training for my 5K (officially less than three weeks away) and I have a looong way to go before I can even think about running the race in a respectable time. But oh well, I’m doing it anyway.
I started running the Couch to 5K program which is supposed to get you in 5K shape in eight weeks. Since I had about four weeks and some change, I tried to start on week 4. Epic fail. I realized slow and steady (never ever has that been my mantra for anything) would help me “win” the race.
The program itself is pretty cool and I doubt I’d be running at all without it. You can play your own music and it gives you the prompts with a slight ding, and a monotone dude telling you, “Run” or “Walk.”
Right now, I’m running for up to 6 minutes at a time, which feels torturous. I’m not a runner. Not yet anyway. As I told my husband, “Isn’t there a way to eat what I want and just…not move?” He just gave me this face:
I hate that I don’t like to exercise. I want to like it. I really do. Just not there yet. I hate that running is yet another thing in my life that is hard but I force myself to do anyway because it’ll make me better. Can I get a cupcake or something after each run? No? Damn. If you think I’m exaggerating on how much I hate running, here’s what was going through my mind during my last one:
Lacing up shoes: I can do this. This is going to be great. My mind will be clear, my stress will melt away, and I’ll be fit and trim in no time.
Heading outside: What a beautiful day. Yup, this run is a good idea.
Looking over my iPod for some music to run to: Why in the hell do I never have enough uptempo songs on here? All I do is sing along to ballads? Who am I—Adele?
30 seconds into my run: Hmm, this isn’t so bad. Why didn’t I start this earlier?
1 minute into my run: Oww! When the hell was the last time I’ve gone for a run? How fat have I gotten that I can’t even run 1 minute without my legs heating up like someone is setting them on fire? Am I running too fast? Too slow? Is my stride right? Let me check out my reflection in this car’s window….OMG, I look like a crazy person running from some invisible dog.
1 minute into the walk portion: So much better. I hate running.
1 second after the prompt to begin running again: No.
1 second after program tells me I’m halfway done: That’s it? I feel like I’ve been running for-freaking-ever!! I’m about to sit on this rock and call my husband and tell him to come get me from this lady’s lawn.
1 minute into the final cooldown: Thank you, sweet baby Jesus. I swear on my life that this needs to get easier or I might not make it!
My husband, upon seeing me come back into the house sweaty and exhausted: Um..hi?