10 Things Grown Women (Yes, You) Shouldn’t Do – Part Two

If you missed part one, click here.

#6 Stop getting overly frustrated when you are faced with things you can control – and the things you can’t. When I have a problem to solve, I feel anxious, even when the solution is fairly straightforward. And this must stop. And when I don’t have the solution or I’m not the one who can solve the problem? I need to be stressed about it even less. Think about it. Stress is your body’s response to things outside your control. If you can fix it, fix it. But if you have no control in the situation (which can be horrible for a control freak like me), then your job is to sit back and wait for clarity.

#7 Stop holding grudges from more than three months ago. Early in my marriage, I would hold grudges forever. For years, even. Heck, just last week I caught myself getting angry at my husband for not getting up at night when the kids were newborns and our youngest is now three. Yes, I realize how crazy that makes me sound. And I realized that my husband instinctively figured I was mad at him about something when he came home every day. It didn’t make sense for him to keep having to bear the brunt of my frustrations when he figured we had moved on. And by holding on to past arguments and past hurts, it made it harder for me to enjoy my marriage.   So now I’m done with all that and my love life has never been better.

#8 Stop taking your health for granted. Last year I pushed myself beyond the scope of what I could physically accomplish. I was editing books and writing posts and going to school and handling too many clients. But I figured, I’m young, I have to hustle hard to make sure this business gets off the ground. But then I started having this burning sensation in my chest every time a deadline approached. My skin no longer glowed but looked pale and splotchy. My hair was breaking off. Stress was manifesting itself everywhere. So I had to take a step back and prioritize my health instead of my wealth. Now my workload is much more manageable and my body is thanking me for it.

 #9 Stop being afraid to be you. My insecurities are legendary. I just started singing along to the radio in front of my husband a couple months ago, because for a long time I was afraid he would judge me ’cause I can’t sing like Adele. And what kind of sense does that make? None. I used to, um, engage in intimate activities with my clothes on, because my squishy belly embarrassed me. But it shouldn’t. And it doesn’t, not anymore. I am who I am, off-key singing and belly pooch and all.

#10 Stop being scared. This is your life. You get one shot at it. You don’t want to spend it on the sidelines, wishing “What If.” Go for what you dream about. Take a step that scares you. Get a little uncomfortable from time to time.


  1. You are so right with these points. It’s taken time for me to let things go, but it’s better for our health to try to move on and no keep grudges.

    As for #9: I had to give that up a while ago. I showed the world my privates when I gave birth. Since then I’ve been perfectly fine with my body and squishy belly and all.

    It’s funny that things that we are insecure about, men don’t really think twice about it when they see us.

  2. Charlene J. says:

    At 27, I have learned to stop pulling my hair out about everything. I get frustrated very easily, so that is a struggle for me.

    I will admit that I STILL hold grudges. I have a problem with forgiveness. But eventually, I manage to bring myself down to earth when I remember that I have wronged others.

    Another thing that I need to improve on as a woman is constantly regretting things that happened in the past that I had control over. I need to learn to live with any bad decisions I make, move on, and forgive myself.

  3. Needed this today. Thank you Tara.

  4. All of these points are dead-on, Tara! #6 is my number one killer! People always tell me that I think too much. So all of these are definitely things that I need to work on. Good points!

  5. As with part one, I am loving this continuation!!! I needed this. I find myself a little overwhelmed because I am embarking on unknown territory, it is frightening because I do not want to fail, but I will never know if I don’t even get started

  6. I love how honest you are!!!

    • @Chasing Joy – That’s what I love about having my own space on the web. I get to say whatever I want!