{She Inspires} Jai Leah Collier: Mom of Three + Lawyer

Jai was introduced to me by our good friend Denise over at New Mama Swagger. Denise said Jai was a good person to know and she ain’t neva lied! Jai’s story is incredibly inspirational. I don’t want to talk too long about her – I’ll just let her speak for herself:

Name: Jai Leah Collier

Age: 30

Blog name/URL: http://faithsseed.blogspot.com

Kids (How many? How old are they?): I have one son who is about to turn 10 years old and am currently 5 months pregnant with twins.

Being a young mom is…something that changes your life for better or worse. Becoming a mother at the age of twenty while trying to finish school is an event that not only changed the course of my life, but increased the fortitude of my character. Those parts of me that were hopelessly self-absorbed, dangerously impulsive, or believed that I was invincible died a quick unceremonious death. I often feel that my life was saved in being forced to make the adjustments that being a young parent required. It’s not hard to identify young mothers who just refused to make the adjustment and suffered the consequences that resulted (ie losing their children or giving up on their dreams). But I accepted that my life and my dreams were now MORE important in that they represented the future for someone else, instead of just me. I didn’t have the liberty to leisurely amble my way through school, dropping classes here and there. I couldn’t afford to fail I had to succeed, because someone else was depending on me. Even now, in my marriage, I believe I was open to being blessed with such a great man because I didn’t see him through the lens of a woman looking for a man. I saw him through the lens of who I would want my young impressionable son to grow up with and take on the characteristics of.

When someone says I inspire them…I let them know that whatever inspires them in me is actually the result of a collective effort. Anything they perceive in my life as success came with the help of my parents, my family, my friends, and God’s favor. I also tell them, that nothing was easy, but the one word I held onto every day of my life was *resilience*. The ability to recover and get back up after being knocked down and pushed aside over and over and over again is a skill that will NEVER be without value.

I’m a lawyer because…I ALWAYS wanted to be a trial lawyer. I had an aunt that was murdered and my parents can still recount every single moment of day of the lengthy trial of her killer (who as it turned out was a serial killer). It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t grow up and stand in a courtroom and ask for justice and punishment to be dealt to those who hurt and harmed others. I knew that was where I wanted to be. Although I have left criminal law for the most part, I still practice civil law, and still protect the public from the “bad guys.” And it makes me feel full and complete at the end of the day.

I made it through law school because…I didn’t have any other choice. I didn’t go to law school as a plan A. There was no plan B or C. My sole plan was to get that degree, pass the bar and start practicing. As a single mother, there were no plans to travel abroad, take a year to find myself, or volunteer at a non-profit type in my future. I worked through law school. I prayed, and I cried, and I studied, and I just believed that I would survive because there was no way God would let me fail.

There were opportunities that I had to pass on because of my situation. But there was also opportunity extended to me because of my situation. Every decision had to be made with a little person in mind. That made picking up and moving for summer clerkships a non-viable option, so I found clerkships in my city. They paid less, but I was with my son. All of the after-hours networking where you make contact over drinks…I was out of that loop.

I didn’t have and couldn’t afford a baby sitter. But door swung open for me in other ways. And I am eternally grateful for those people who helped me. I was working for a State Representative and when there were late nights I could bring my son in and work with him right there playing on the expensive state furniture. LOL.

Whenever I have a moment of free time…I look forward to relaxing completely. I take my free time seriously. No work, no tasks, nothing but a good book or a good movie and whatever food makes me happiest.

On really tough days…I remember how far I come, and that reminds me that what lies ahead cannot be harder than what I’ve already overcome. So it makes sense to keep pushing.

My son makes me feel like…a superhero on some days. Of course there are days when he makes me the wicked witch of the west as he hates discipline in any form. But I know the discipline is making him into a better person so I don’t mind being the bad guy on those days. I want him to be equipped to handle life just as well if not BETTTER than I was.

If my son only remembers one thing I taught him…I hope it’s that every decision we make and action that we take has a consequence. And while we get to choose our actions we do NOT get to choose our consequences. So proceed with caution.

I feel like a great mom when…I watch my son play outdoors contentedly for hours on end. Even more so when he runs in and get s snack and a drink and then heads back out. It is then that I know he feels safe and free and well taken care of in the life we have made for him. He is getting to be a child. He is not shouldering burdens that are beyond his age.

The most surprising thing about motherhood is…how quickly and seamlessly it changes your thought process. I used to always laugh at how my dad wore clothes until they were falling apart and outdated when I thought he clearly could get new things because we always had new things. Now I realize that he didn’t get new things just so we COULD have new things. When your kids are growing and stretching you are always trying to keep up with what size they are in now and what doesn’t fit anymore. You never stop to think that your own drawers are on their last leg and the elastic is threatening to give up the ghost. You just want to make sure that your kids are taken care of.

If I could have/invent one item to make motherhood easier…it would be Rosie from the Jetsons. You know the robot who could dial up meals and clean and host. As a matter of fact I’d settle for the machine that piped the food you dialed in right into your house. When it comes to time management, mommying would be easier without the grocery shopping and cooking. Plus no one in the house ever has a taste for the same things. Just the thought of trying to grocery shop with twins babies is giving me pause.