Don’t Listen to The People Who Tell You, “You’re Not Good Enough”

I am done caring what other people think.

I’ve declared this before, but sercretly don’t we all care a LITTLE about what people think? We want people think of us as good mothers, students, wives, girlfriends, friends, sisters, aunts, daughters, etc. We want praise but the funny thing about praise is that you need to let people eye you up and down first before they can heap it upon you.

But I’m done. I’m 25 years old and I’m making a list of “All the Things Grown Women Don’t Do.” (Oh, yes, that’s a future blog post.) And on the top of the list is “Alter your life based on society’s expectations.”

I’ve been there. Since I had my daughter at 20, I have been on a quest to have my life be more “acceptable” in people’s eyes. I don’t drink, even now because I didn’t want people to think I had “fun.” I worked two and three jobs, not just for the financial stability, but so I could look more “professional.” I drilled my kids on their alphabet, numbers, shapes and colors so much that my daughter knew pretty much everything her preschool teacher had planned for the year before she even taught it…and my daughter was younger than all the other kids. Yes, I valued education, but I wanted my kids to be BETTER than everyone else. I wanted to be liked. And respected. Despite being a young mom.

But it’s a no-win situation. Society will tell you you’re not a good mother if….

…you don’t breastfeed

…you breastfeed too long

…you have kids at a young age

…you have kids at a older age

…you work outside the home

…you’re a stay-at-home mom who chooses not to work

…you don’t feed your kids organic food

…you spend too much on a stroller

…you actually use a stroller and don’t “wear” your baby in a sling

…you co-sleep

…you don’t co-sleep

…you’re a single mom

…you’re a divorced mom

…you’re a mom who got married after having kids

…you’re still in school when you had kids

…you don’t make that much money and your kids don’t have many material possessions

….you make a lot of money and spoil your kids too much

I already know I am a damn good mother. Bump what you’ve heard elsewhere.

Do I make mistakes? Almost daily. But I try my best to learn from my mistakes and grow from them so when even I’m wrong my kids will still benefit.

I’m tired of trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations and need to worry about my kid’s expectations. Are THEY happy? Do they wake up with smiles and giggles? Do they shriek with joy when I take them places or read them books over and over again? What are THEY telling me?

Instead of looking outside your home for validation on what you should do, look inside. Stop reading so many books or mommy blogs (unless it’s my book and my blog….lol) or parenting articles and trust in yourself and your kids. We all make mistakes but it makes us human, not failures.

Don’t listen to the people who tell you you’re not good enough or you’re doing it wrong, or questioning your motives. Keep doing YOU and let the rest fall into place.