Comments on: doing what you can to get by http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/ a real look at a 20 something mom Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:00:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=256 By: Tara http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12519 Tara Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:20:57 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12519 @Alexandra - So many people are raised with the sense that you have to do for yourself, but EVERYONE has to ask for help at some point. It's only natural that we won't always be able to do it all. :) @Alexandra – So many people are raised with the sense that you have to do for yourself, but EVERYONE has to ask for help at some point. It’s only natural that we won’t always be able to do it all. :)

]]> By: Alexandra http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12505 Alexandra Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:27:31 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12505 Thanks!! Recieving assistance was so so hard for me. I was brought up by a extremely strong mother who enstilled in me and my siblings that you never ask anyone for help, that is was a sign of weakness. If you couldn't afford it then you didnt need it. During my adulthood I've had to ask for help multiple times in a variety of situations and every time it happens I get super embarrassed, it doesn't ever sit well with me. Even in my relationship, I dont like asking for help from my boyfriend (which he hates). But there does come a point in time when you may have to swallow your pride to be able to put food on the table or buy that pack of diapers. Thanks!! Recieving assistance was so so hard for me. I was brought up by a extremely strong mother who enstilled in me and my siblings that you never ask anyone for help, that is was a sign of weakness. If you couldn’t afford it then you didnt need it. During my adulthood I’ve had to ask for help multiple times in a variety of situations and every time it happens I get super embarrassed, it doesn’t ever sit well with me. Even in my relationship, I dont like asking for help from my boyfriend (which he hates). But there does come a point in time when you may have to swallow your pride to be able to put food on the table or buy that pack of diapers.

]]> By: Erika http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12495 Erika Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:29:35 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12495 i think the general consensus on welfare,especially toward young mums, is that 'if you cant afford to raise a child, dont have any.' When my daughter was younger I was more politically active and participated in poverty groups. One in particular was called 'Pay the Rent & Feed the Kids'. while we were demonstrating in a wealthy area of town, following our then premier one woman came up to me and said 'Get birth control and get a job'. While certainly we dont want teens getting pregnant and going on welfare, im glad we have a social safety net, however meager the support really is. Poverty & discrimination seem to go hand in hand. i think the general consensus on welfare,especially toward young mums, is that ‘if you cant afford to raise a child, dont have any.’ When my daughter was younger I was more politically active and participated in poverty groups. One in particular was called ‘Pay the Rent & Feed the Kids’. while we were demonstrating in a wealthy area of town, following our then premier one woman came up to me and said ‘Get birth control and get a job’. While certainly we dont want teens getting pregnant and going on welfare, im glad we have a social safety net, however meager the support really is. Poverty & discrimination seem to go hand in hand.

]]> By: Leah http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12492 Leah Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:48:52 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12492 For my first two pregnancies, I was 16 and 18/19 and I could not have gotten healthcare if it wasn't for medicaid. I didn't see it as a shame full thing, but something I was grateful of being able to qualify for to help us out. We stopped using it as soon as we had the funds to support ourselves, I feel like it's a great program that shouldn't be abused. For my first two pregnancies, I was 16 and 18/19 and I could not have gotten healthcare if it wasn’t for medicaid. I didn’t see it as a shame full thing, but something I was grateful of being able to qualify for to help us out. We stopped using it as soon as we had the funds to support ourselves, I feel like it’s a great program that shouldn’t be abused.

]]> By: T http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12490 T Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:02:21 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12490 When I was pregnant I worked at a store called Zara. When I got hired I was full time and therefore eligible for benefits after 6 months. Well, right around the time my benefits kicked in, my boss told me whoever hired me made a mistake and I was only part time. In other words not eligible for benefits. Nevermind the fact that I had been working at least 37hrs a week since I started there. But all this happened when I was about 2 months pregnant. Once my boss actually knew I was pregnant I noticed my hours started to decline each week until they were just non-existant. I ended up having to get on Medicaid for myself and then for my daughter. Its a wonderful program because I had no idea how I was going to pay for monthly doctors visits. Which turned into weekly doctors visits. When I went down to the office to apply the case worker also told me about WIC. Those two programs kept my head above water while I was pregnant. And even now I have a great job which offers benefits but I won't be eligible until I've been there for 1 year. I no longer have Medicaid but thankfully my daughter does and I still get her formula with WIC which is a total blessing with formula being $15 a can. So yes, Tara. We do what we have to for our children. I know a lot of young mothers who hate the fact that they need a little extra assistance and as soon as they can get off welfare or medicaid they do. Of course there are the few that cheat or abuse the system and give all of us young moms a bad rep. But those few only pale in comparison to the millions of us who do what we truly have to for our children. When I was pregnant I worked at a store called Zara. When I got hired I was full time and therefore eligible for benefits after 6 months. Well, right around the time my benefits kicked in, my boss told me whoever hired me made a mistake and I was only part time. In other words not eligible for benefits. Nevermind the fact that I had been working at least 37hrs a week since I started there. But all this happened when I was about 2 months pregnant. Once my boss actually knew I was pregnant I noticed my hours started to decline each week until they were just non-existant.

I ended up having to get on Medicaid for myself and then for my daughter. Its a wonderful program because I had no idea how I was going to pay for monthly doctors visits. Which turned into weekly doctors visits. When I went down to the office to apply the case worker also told me about WIC. Those two programs kept my head above water while I was pregnant. And even now I have a great job which offers benefits but I won’t be eligible until I’ve been there for 1 year.

I no longer have Medicaid but thankfully my daughter does and I still get her formula with WIC which is a total blessing with formula being $15 a can.

So yes, Tara. We do what we have to for our children. I know a lot of young mothers who hate the fact that they need a little extra assistance and as soon as they can get off welfare or medicaid they do. Of course there are the few that cheat or abuse the system and give all of us young moms a bad rep. But those few only pale in comparison to the millions of us who do what we truly have to for our children.

]]> By: Christina http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12473 Christina Mon, 26 Apr 2010 02:35:54 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12473 My daugther is on goverment healthcare (Arkids), because we didnt receive her social in time to meet the 60 day from birth time frame our insurance company has for adding babies. My husband had been laid off from his job, so we were thankfully able to qualify for Arkids, so that she has insurance coverage. I also received a breastpump (which i desperately needed) from our local WIC program. The job that my husband was laid off from was a very good job (he was a software developer at a large company), and we were used to not needing any assistance from anyone. We were working hard to pay off student loans, save money, no extra spending, etc, etc, so to go from a place where we were saving hundreds of dollars every month to qualifying for government assitance stung a little. WE have come back from that, (Hubby is doing wonderfully in his real estate business, and probably going to be starting a new job withing the next week or so) but I am so grateful that the programs were in place when we needed them, especially since it was things that we needed for the baby! My daugther is on goverment healthcare (Arkids), because we didnt receive her social in time to meet the 60 day from birth time frame our insurance company has for adding babies. My husband had been laid off from his job, so we were thankfully able to qualify for Arkids, so that she has insurance coverage.

I also received a breastpump (which i desperately needed) from our local WIC program.

The job that my husband was laid off from was a very good job (he was a software developer at a large company), and we were used to not needing any assistance from anyone. We were working hard to pay off student loans, save money, no extra spending, etc, etc, so to go from a place where we were saving hundreds of dollars every month to qualifying for government assitance stung a little.

WE have come back from that, (Hubby is doing wonderfully in his real estate business, and probably going to be starting a new job withing the next week or so) but I am so grateful that the programs were in place when we needed them, especially since it was things that we needed for the baby!

]]> By: June http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/2010/04/26/doing-what-you-can-to-get-by/comment-page-1/#comment-12471 June Mon, 26 Apr 2010 02:22:09 +0000 http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/?p=2000#comment-12471 We are very lucky that my husband's job provided enough for us financially, but we did not have health care for the first year and a half of our son's life. At first my son was covered under my parent's, but that changed and we made enough to be on the state assisted, non-medicaid health care (NY has a great system for this). Just this year however, before my husband and I actually married, we were in limbo between jobs and my son ended up on Medicaid. Even though I knew we were working and supporting our family the fact of having to rely on 'the system' was so hard. I was angry and embarrassed and defensive about it, and even though it was the right choice, a kid NEEDS health care, it was hard. It didn't help that when we filed for it the woman pretty much treated us like criminals. She kept making snippy comments about how unfortunate it was to be on medicaid, and how hopefully we'd better ourselves, and finally my husband said "I have a job, you know" and she was suddenly a million times nicer. I couldn't believe how horribly they treated us. They were condescending and cold, and I am so grateful we don't have to rely on it anymore, but I'm angry about the way they treat people who are genuinely trying to get by and move up. There are a few people who abuse the system, I've never met them, but the majority are people who really need it and it's not fair to judge or ridicule people who are in need. We are very lucky that my husband’s job provided enough for us financially, but we did not have health care for the first year and a half of our son’s life. At first my son was covered under my parent’s, but that changed and we made enough to be on the state assisted, non-medicaid health care (NY has a great system for this). Just this year however, before my husband and I actually married, we were in limbo between jobs and my son ended up on Medicaid. Even though I knew we were working and supporting our family the fact of having to rely on ‘the system’ was so hard. I was angry and embarrassed and defensive about it, and even though it was the right choice, a kid NEEDS health care, it was hard. It didn’t help that when we filed for it the woman pretty much treated us like criminals. She kept making snippy comments about how unfortunate it was to be on medicaid, and how hopefully we’d better ourselves, and finally my husband said “I have a job, you know” and she was suddenly a million times nicer. I couldn’t believe how horribly they treated us. They were condescending and cold, and I am so grateful we don’t have to rely on it anymore, but I’m angry about the way they treat people who are genuinely trying to get by and move up. There are a few people who abuse the system, I’ve never met them, but the majority are people who really need it and it’s not fair to judge or ridicule people who are in need.

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