Comments on: it’s 8 p.m – where are your kids?

By: Shelly

Shelly — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 04:43:45 +0000

I WAS anal about bedtime when my son was much younger (8pm). He’s 9 now, so I am not as rigorous with it. My mantra is this: If you can stay up late and still wake up on time then you’re going to have to manage that. I do occasionally push HARD for him to get in the bed on time (9pm), especially when I have homework or other pressing items to handle before I pass out for the night or when he has a big day ahead.

By: Yakini

Yakini — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:07:50 +0000

Omg, I’m sooo anal about bedtime. And it’s so funny as I was reading this post (esp. the part about your aunt visiting) because that is so me. I have a reputation as well for being a stickler about bedtime – and by now folks know not to mess with me. lmao! I too have been told things like “I’m in the area but it’s 6:30 and I know Chase has to go to bed….” This is sometimes said wistfully…. and it is met with my stony face. DH is on the same page with me now, which is great! I believe in bedtimes whole-heartedly. And although Chase is only 10 months now he has had a bedtime routine since he was BORN!!!! That’s how my mom taught me – and I love her for it.

I have girlfriends with kids Chase’s age and a bit older…. and their kids are up with them at MIDNIGHT and beyond!!!! *shocked face* When we chat on the phone and exchange stories, I don’t judge them (out loud, lol). I actually feel sorry for them. They’ll be like, “Oh he/she isn’t tired, so I don’t lay her day. I only lay her down when she gets sleepy.” Umm, she was probably sleepy around 8 pm, but kids are masters at fighting sleep. If mom and dad let you stay up and play and watch TV til late, who wouldnt fight sleep and choose this more “fun” alternative? So essentially, they are being deprived of the sleep that they need, for their health and growth.

These parents actually think that, when their child hits some “magical” age (like 8 or something) that they are suddenly gonna start enforcing a schedule and a bedtime. Ummm, it doesnt work that way. Children need routines/limits/boundares. They appreciate you and love you for it. Well that’s how I feel anyway. *shrug*

Chase goes to bed at 7 pm, and after that it’s my time. Like you said, he gets my 110% before that. But the bedtime works for everyone, and I’m so grateful that we have this in our household.

By: Erica

Erica — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:42:36 +0000

CJ- Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is for me too (Daddy enforcing bedtime). Turning out all the lights seems to work too… except that I usually fall asleep as well when I do that. Pitiful, I know. LOL!

Tara – LOL! That’s great that it hasn’t occurred to her yet that she can open the door and come out! Hopefully by the time she realizes her power, she’ll actually want to go to sleep and not have any interest in coming out. I definitely see how “the more the merrier” tactic works (it was also easier for me to do things that I didn’t like when my brother had to do them as well).

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:23:44 +0000

@Ronnie – I am a LITTLE flexible with the bedtime because my daughter is a bookworm and is always, “One more story!” I plan to have it that way with my son as well. Like you, I know my kids get cranky if they don’t sleep enough so I figure I actually have their best interests at heart. LOL.

But also like you, I don’t like that I see them for MAYBE three hours at night. But keeping them up later is only a Band-Aid for that problem, so I try to live with it and make the most out of their waking hours. Consequently, weekends are HUGE!

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:20:58 +0000

@Courtney – You could have stayed! I was merely mentioning the time! LOL. I hate feeling like I’ve put the fear of God into people because I want my friends to always feel like they’re welcome. I do appreciate that you are sooo considerate and call first and everything, but usually it’s not a problem as long the clock reads 8 p.m. when the kids go to sleep! LOL.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:54:13 +0000

I am definitely one of the friends she has put the fear into! This is one mama who does not play when it comes to bed time!!! Tonight, perfect example: I wanted to drop by for a bit to see her and the kids but my son and I took a late nap. Woke up and it was 6:45 so I went into a paniac. Didn’t bother to put any clothes on, just called to make sure it was okay for us to come by and went over in our PJs! It seemed like we weren’t there long but when she said it was 7:30, my heartbeat sped up and my mind went into “get out of their house ASAP” mode even though the kids were having fun playing together! I don’t even like to call past a certain time, that’s how big of a bed time nazi your favorite mommy blogger is! LOL

I’ve become way better than I used to be since we moved and Jaedyn got his own room. Before, we’d be up until 1-2 o’clock in the morning. Now I’ve realized the importance of me time, so we have somewhat of a schedule. I’m a bit more flexible though. Usually anytime between 8-9:30 will work for us. Of course by the end of the day I push more for the earlier time. All depends on how active he was during the day, how much he napped, whether he is cranky/acting out, etc. I’m sure I will become more rigid once I start work

By: Ronnie_BMWK

Ronnie_BMWK — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 02:52:34 +0000

Bedtime is 8:30 pm at my house. However the kids are usually in bed sometime between 8:30 and 9 PM. I enforce the bedtime because I know the little ones need their rest and plus they are cranky in the morning when they are tired.

On one hand, I hate that I only have a few hours in the evenings to spend with the kids before it’s bedtime. On the other hand, I am happy to have some quiet time at night.

By: Mrs. CJ

Mrs. CJ — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:11:42 +0000

Tara, I have a boy (3) and a girl (1). I only have them sharing a room because we have a 2 bedroom home (well, actually 3 bedrooms, but the upstairs bedroom is unfinished, and I don’t feel comfortable with a child on a different floor). If I could, they’d have their own rooms now. They get into trouble too much when sharing a room. Anyway, as for your question, I think it’s ok for them to share a room until the oldest is 5 or 6. After that, I want them to have separate rooms. That’s part of the reason we’re looking for another house.

By: Erykah

Erykah — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:00:10 +0000

i was really lucky, my baby slept thru the night from almost the beginning.i started to encounter naughty defiant behavior surrounding bedtime around 4-5 yrs old.Nipped that right in the bud. I told her every minute ur up past bedtime you’ll be going to be early tomorrow nite.didnt really sink in at first but by week’s end she knew the drill.i’ve always been a stickler for bedtime, because really that is the only time i have to myself.now that she is a tween, she stays up later and later.still have a bedtime and lights out in place, although as long as she in her room quiet that’s good enough.

By: Mrs. W

Mrs. W — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:03:26 +0000

whew! 8 is the magic number!!! when the clock strikes 7:59, the twins are in bed and my oldest is in hers as well. i let the oldest watch tv for a while…i never wanted to put a tv in her room, but when we moved to our house, it was her first time being in a room alone and in a big-girl bed…so the tv helped her adjust without freaking out and howling all night. my husband goes and turns it off while im buried in something else tho. regardless, i do not LOOK at kids after 8 p.m.!!

By: DM

DM — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:37:56 +0000

i am SO GLAD i am not alone!!! i don’t have a song or rap, i sound more like a drill saergent…..a song would probably make it more fun for the kids. yes, family and friends are trained. we actually rarely answer the phone once we get home in the evening let alone at bed time. for all the bedtime/naptime czars out there: KEEP IT UP!!!

By: Ms. Bar B

Ms. Bar B — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:24:55 +0000

Lol… nothing wrong with having a set routine and sticking to it. If you go off course all hell will eventually break lose. Since I have a 1st grader, getting to bed, on time, during the week is vital. At my house, bedtime is 9pm. Then I can take a breather and relax, complete readings, catch my favorite tv shows in peace or whatever else the night hours may call for.

I admire the fact that you have that part all figured out. Its hard to stick to at times, but when you value that little bit of time between putting the kids to bed and putting yourself to sleep, you will find a way to get in the routine =)

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:37:27 +0000

@CJ – I could never be one of those parents whose kids go to bed all late – I’d be cranky as heck! LOL. Kudos to you for having them share a room and having something resembling a bedtime routine! I was so nervous about the baby waking the toddler but in reality it didn’t turn out to be an issue. Let me ask – do you have one of each (boy/girl)? If so, how do you feel about them sharing a room when they get older? I have one of each and I kind of want them to share a room because they are basically in there to sleep, that’s it. Hmmm…I dunno.

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:31:44 +0000

@Erica – OH! And she used to fight us a little bit on the bedtime thing more when she was an only child. Then once we had her brother, bedtime became a ritual. She realized that EVERYONE had to go to bed, not just her. Does that makes sense?

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:30:26 +0000

@Erica – Well, I plan on keeping my son (he’s one) in his crib for as long as I can, so that’s how I keep him in the bed. LOL. As for my daughter (she’s 3), I think she’s just tired. Either that or she just knows Mommy’s at her breaking point and I’m not to be disturbed. LOL. She doesn’t open the door once I close it, even though I sometimes find her passed out on the floor when I come back to check on her, so I know she gets out of the bed to play or read. I never really had to tell her not to come out of her room, so I’m not sure what I’ll do when she discovers that oh yeah – she can open the door herself! LOL. I plan on keeping her in the dark (no pun intended) about that for a while…