For a minute there, I contemplated starting a new blog, one that exists solely to chronicle the adventures of my baby boy, who we affectionately call “Jack Jack.”
Simply put, this boy is crazy.
How crazy, you ask? So crazy that I’m scared of him.
How can you be scared of a 1-year-old? you ask.
Well, maybe “scared” isn’t the right word. It’s pretty close to what I feel when I see him walking toward me, though.
I am just so exhausted by the end of the day that I contemplate closing my eyes within seconds of when he does. And I mean, SECONDS.
I’m having a hard time figuring out which of his antics are simply “boy things” and which are “let’s figure out how to drive mommy crazy ’cause it’ll be fun!” things.
Like his proclivity for throwing my exercise dumbbells. Is that a boy thing or is it his attempt to drive me crazy?
Or how he growls? Is a 1-year-old boy supposed to growl?
Or how he manages to crawl and climb into EVERYTHING. Into the bathtub, the fireplace, up the stairs, into our clothes baskets, EVERYWHERE.
Babyproofing for this little guy was pretty much pointless. He pulled the outlet covers out the wall, broke two baby gates and just generally causes such a ruckus that it’s a better parenting strategy to just keep an eye on him AT ALL TIMES.
He’s broken 12 bottles. 12 BOTTLES!!!!
He head-butts people and chances are, you’re the one who will be writhing in pain.
He wrestles his 3-year-old sister. He shakes things (see: two broken baby gates).
He rearranges our furniture. Ever seen a little baby push a dining room table? Come over our house.
I said all that to say: Moms of little boys – please tell me it gets easier!
Uhmm, do you want me to lie to you?? LOL.
My 2 year old is the equivalent of your 1 year old. And to make matters worse, my first son, who’s 7, was NOTHING LIKE THIS! He was and still is the sweetest most mild-mannered kid you ever want to see. He’s the one who comes to check to see if I’m okay if he hasn’t heard me making noise around the house in a while. My 2 year old is usually the reason why the 7 yr old hasn’t heard me. I’m probably in a corner somewhere trying to regroup. Lord have mercy! At least now when he head butt’s me and I saw “OW!” he says “Sowwy!” and rubs the spot he hurt. I don’t know. I hope it gets easier with this little one. If not, Lord help us all!! LOL
LOL, I love you have the pic of weights there..still not over that one, or breaking your dress, and I’m still trying to figure out how you break a bottle!!! But to be honest, when I am over, I get nervous about when “Jack Jack” comes running for me as well. When we bumped heads once, I thought I was going to be the one with a hickey on my forehead, LOL. While LT does some things that often make me ask you to repeat yourself then describe to me–and even then I don’t understand LOL, I think most of it is being a boy.
When I tell my mother about the stuff Jaedyn does now her response is, “well he’s a boy. Boys will be boys and you wanted a boy remember?!” (Geez, thanks mom) Anyways, I think they are just at that stage now. I’ve had to take at least 2-3 toys of Jaedyn’s and hide them in his closet because instead of using them for what they are intended for, he wants to climb on top of them. It scares the crap out of me when he falls and makes my nerves even worse–and half of the time he pops right back up and does it again, thinking it’s funny. Even when he falls and hurts himself, once I’ve kissed the boo boo and he’s settled down, he goes right back to it!
I don’t like going to the stores with him anymore because I don’t know who they made those safety buckles for, but it surely wasn’t for my kind of child. I try to adjust them as tightly as possible without hurting him of course, but he still manages to get out of and now likes to stand up in the cart. After a few attempts of trying to get him to sit back down and him throwing a fit, I will put him in the back of the cart with something to try to get him to sit down and play with. That works all of 15 seconds and he’s standing up and trying to walk around the back of the cart, which he can still get hurt if he bumps up against the cart, isn’t holding on good when I go to take off, etc.
His latest thing is standing up on my bed or the couch and trying to jump off, even though he knows how to turn around and safely slide down. He doesn’t like to wait for me to get in the tub anymore. I have to run it, then carry him out and close the door until it fills up or else he will dive over as soon as I turn my back. It’s driving me crazy. It’s like one day he woke up and decided he was going to live life dangerously or something–and they are only ONE!!! Can you imagine what they will be doing at 2, 5, or even 10?! Sign me up for a pacemaker now!
LOL!!! I am laughing, not only because your post is hilarious, but because I feel your pain!! Donovic (my 3 year-old) is exactly the same and has been pretty much since he made his debut in this world. He is strong beyond any possible range of normality for a 3 year-old, strong-willed, seemingly immune to pain and is ridiculously inquisitive and adventurous. He has a great heart though.
I too am scared of my child at times and often cringe and shield myself when I see him running towards me. His dad and I have semi-joked (except we were probably serious) that he may be the first child to accidentally kill and/or maim his parents. Sorry to have to tell you, but while they calm down a little as they get older because they have a wider range of understanding (“Donnie, you can’t jump on or tackle mommy when she isn’t looking because you can hurt her” or “I know you want to be a cat but you can’t color your palms and draw dots all over your arms in PERMANENT marker because it may not come off!”), the crazy antics only get more sophisticated.
Enjoy it though because in about 18 years when they would rather spend time with their girlfriends than play superheroes with mommy, I’m sure we’ll all be reminiscing on the “good old days”.
@Erica – Whew. Okay. I’m happy to hear I’m not the only one who braces herself when she sees her kid coming for her. lol.
Tara! I feel your pain. Jonas is two years old and is a busy body. He hasn’t broken anything but he terrorizes Jaelah, yet wants her comfort when he gets in trouble.
Will it get easier? It probably will. He’s in the exploration stage. He wants to see what it happen when he knocks something over or breaks it. I know it’s driving you crazy, but it’ll get better.
@Alexia – Thomas will throw himself on her like it’s nothing, snatch her toys and then look at her like he’s DARING her to say something. I don’t know about him sometimes…From what everyone is saying, it doesn’t get easier. Crap.
Well . . . mine are 10 and 13
That energy you see now is just replaced with football/baseball/ soccer/basketball/karate/drum lessons/trumpet lessons/mall runs . . . all for which you get to happily provide chauffeur duties.
The dumbbells are replaced with balls/socks/popcorn/pillows/shoes etc. The difference is now they are throwing them at their siblings when you are not watching. “No I didn’t” “Who, not me?”
The growling is replaced with “Why?”, Why Not?”, “What?”, “Can I have?”, “When?”, “Now?”, “I am!”, “In a minute”, “Do I have too?” and so on and so on.
The bottles are replaced with cell phones, backpacks, lost jackets, lost lunchboxes, lost homework/projects/papers/money.
The climbing is replaced with their long lanky bodies lounging on every darn piece of furniture you have as if they were attached at a cellular level to the fabric with the remote or video controller fused to their hands.
So no, it does not get easier, perse – it just changes. I know it is exhausting, but they do get to a point when it is a little calmer. You will be able to move out of the reactive “fire fighting” mode and move on to the proactive “stay ahead of the buggers” mode.
Till, then – start researching hobbies. Mine is grey goose vodka martinis – dirty, shaken not stirred, with lots of extra olives.
But you might want to start with a nice zinfandel since your children are so young.
@BMWW2K – “Till then – start researching hobbies. Mine is grey goose vodka martinis…”
I.AM.SO.MAD.AT.YOU. LOL. That was the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.
Lord Jesus are you talking about Jason Jr. You must be because I swear I’m going through this with my 15month old. He is all over the place. Climbing on everything, headbutting me jumping off the bed taking off his diaper and running through the house. I am over here on the verge of tears because I’m blaming myself because I haven’t been keeping to his normal schedule and thinking its my fault. I have to study for school. Hubby’s at work. And I clicked on your blog and I was like Thank God I am nt alone in this. My post is probably all over the place but this is all I can manage right now… Good Luck (sigh)
@Tricia – I thought my baby was crazy (hence the title of the post) but everyone is telling me this is normal. I don’t know if I should be relieved or frightened. LOL. Hang in there – we’ll get through this together!