I’ve always considered myself to have a healthy sex life.
Then I had my daughter and it plummeted.
Seriously, I should have put up posters around the neighborhood with a picture of me lounging on the bed in some lingerie and the headline “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN?” My husband would have thanked you.
I don’t know what it is about having kids that screws up (hehe) your sex life. Okay, I lie, I know EXACTLY what it is about having kids that screws up your sex life.
For starters, is it just me, or is it hard to go from Mommy to SEX KITTEN in a matter of minutes? I can’t get in the mood if I know we’re low on diapers and the next time the kids poop I’ll have to make a mad dash to the store while the kids sit with a bum wrapped in Brawny.
Then it’s the timing. We’re taking care of the house and the kids from morning until late at night. By the time the worries of the world fall away, all I want to do is snuggle up with my pillow and fall into a coma until morning.
But at the same time, there is nothing that relaxes me like sex.
Nothing.
Some people drink, some people smoke, some people exercise.
I have sex.
Hell, I consider sex to be my cardio. Have sex a few times a week and you don’t have to worry about getting on the treadmill, right? (Please tell me I’m not the only one who does that sort of lazy woman’s math.)
But add these two kids with the monthly “inconveniences” and a full time work schedule and it’s just not happening as often as I’d like.
So I open it up to you, mamas. What’s ideal for you? Once a week? Twice a week? More? Less? Spill it!
Amen, Amen, Amen @ this whole post.
(Wait, is it blasphemous to use “amen” in that context? lol)
Anyway…. soooo, are you asking what’s “ideal” for us, or what is the “reality” for us? Cuz for me the two are NOT one and the same, lol. Hmmmm, i guess ideally, i’d love it if me and DH were intimate maybe 2x or 3x per week. That would make me really happy.
But as far as how often this really goes down…………. Let’s just say that, since DS was born, it’s a far, far, far cry from that. No need to even get into the particulars. *smh*
LOL, okay now I see why we are twins. Girl when I have sex–lemme clear it up–if I have good sex aka ended in an orgasm, that is a work out! It takes a lot of muscles to build up to a good orgasm. When I wake up the next morning feeling like I just did an ab workout the night before. Not to mention how my legs feel if you try to get creative with all the bending and stretching, a workout indeed!
I know how you feel though. Before I had Jaedyn, I had a super high sex drive. I liked it whenever, where ever, and however! When I think back on it now, it actually shocks me how bad I used to be, LOL. But now? Blah. Even though I’m celibate, I can’t even get in the mood for B.O.B anymore. I used to pull that thing out every night…sometimes twice a night before I went to bed. It’s just super hard to get in the mood at the end of the day when I’m exhausted. I’m usually sore, frustrated/stressed, and tired by time I finally get my son to sleep. The last thing I think about once I hit my bed is something sexual…especially when I have to depend on my own imagination to get me off.
Ideally, I’d say at least once a day, but realistically I’d be good if I could pull off a couple times a week with the way I’m always feeling now. I guess that’s another reason I’m hesitant about getting into a relationship. Sex is an important aspect (at least to me it is, lol) and I just don’t know if I’d be up to fulfilling my man’s needs as often or when he wanted :-/
Ok, I love sex right now. My sexual needs go up and down. It’s gotten to the point where I only wanted it twice a month or less, but that was back when my children were infants. Now they’re 3 and 1 years old, and me and DH are up to 2-3 times per week. Lately I want whips and chains, whipped cream and hot jello.
It’s like the more we do it, the more I need it. So my ideal amoutn of sex would be 3 times per week, but if you ask me when I’ve just had a baby, I’ll say once a month.
@Cee Cee – Girl, are we twins? My daughter is almost 3, my son just turned one and now? CAN’T GET ENOUGH. Whipped cream and HOT Jell-o? Sounds good to me!
Is it crazy to think about sex when the c-section staples are barely out??
@T – I had two C-sections and both times we waited until the kid was like 3 or 4 months old because I just wasn’t having it. LOL. I don’t know if it would have been different with a vaginal birth. I wanted to get down earlier, but it took a while for me to build up the courage so to speak.
T, if you want it, you want it, right? But I couldn’t even fathom sex after I had my babies. My belly area was in so much pain for 2 months after birth.
I love to get the “cookies” as often as I can get them…However, that is not the case all the time and my personal “cookie” quota is dwindling in the numbers. {insert sad face here} Between, the nursing baby and long hours of work who has time to rev up the sex kitten.