Mom bloggers = whiners? Whatev!

If a women is a single mother (for whatever reason, and today many women do it by choice – not circumstance), her focus would/should be “why would I NOT do these things for my family – hard or not. This is my child.” To commend someone for doing what they feel should be done can be considered an insult. Additionally, to give voice to the hardships that accompany fulfilling those responsibilities for a brief time would come across as complaining/whining to someone who fulfills those responsibilities all the time.

ST’s message may have been harsh in its delivery, but I understand her perspective. Being a full-time mom until my sons were school age while my husband worked, I understand yours as well.

Every mother is different. A married mother with 4 kids may obviously struggle more than a single mother with 2 or vise versa. It’s all in how you choose to deal with your situation. I didn’t plan to be a single mom, but I think I’m one of the best darn single mothers out there. Do I get a lil envious when I see kids with fathers in their lives? I’d be a lie if I said no, but I’m not bitter because I’m blessed and a stronger person now!

STFU
you don’t like what you read, don’t read it, move on.

signed –

mommyvents – a proud whining mommy blogger

Like I was telling a friend today, I do not mind if you don’t agree with me – just be rational about it and have some intelligent points to make. That’s all I ask. I had no idea single moms could view what I said as hurtful or as pity. I thought I was giving a compliment. But you never know until you have those discussions, which is why I posted STFU’s comment – to bring some intelligence to the conversation….

I know other single mothers and I’ve told them how much I admire what they do because of the struggles that I have as a married mother. And while I always convey that message in a shroud of admiration, I must admit that there is a bit of sympathy there. I never considered that it may be offensive to them that I have those feelings of sympathy towards them.

On the other hand, sharing these stories puts you in a very vulnerable position. You are sharing things about your life, successes, and shortcomings. I think there was a way for her to provide an alternative perspective without being bitter and hurtful. The other commenters on this post did – and it was much more enlightening than her rant.

What I DON’T like (and I’m not a single mom, so please know I’m speaking from my experience as a married mom) is when single moms get all huffy like what they do is no big deal. Raising a kid by yourself is a BIG DAMN DEAL. It’s HARD. That’s why it takes two to make one! I know it might be a defense mechanism and that’s how they have to look at it in order to not get bogged down by the weight of it all. But like I said in a previous comment, I doubt 75% of the single moms today actually planned it that way. They are doing the single mom thing out of necessity, because some guy didn’t step up and handle his responsibility. That in no way reflects poorly on you. By stepping up to minimize that void, that gets one big ol’ “WOW” from me.

Not to say that I couldn’t do it or wouldn’t do it, but the fact is that I don’t have to, so when I see single moms surviving and thriving I’m in awe. To see single moms do it gives me no excuse not to push myself a little harder, to read one more bedtime story, to cook dinner instead of stopping at KFC, to wash and fold the clothes even when I want to go to sleep.

I said all that to say that I think single moms are incredibly strong, resilient women and I think the world of you all.