Dear son,
Hard to believe your first year is coming to a close in a few short months. It feels like you have been a part of my life forever.
But in the nine months that you have been here, I feel like I need to apologize to you for some poor planning on my part.
To put it bluntly, I should’ve planned this ish better.
By the time you made your appearance in the family, your big sis was 21 months old. Meaning – she was pretty much all I could handle. You see, your sister is a very special child. Very vocal about her needs, very vocal when said needs don’t get met, and very vocal when they do. She’s just loud and talkative.
I guess you sensed that and decided to fit in where you could. You’re such a quiet baby, but lately you’ve even started raising your hand, like you’re trying to get a word in edgewise.
I feel horrible that I essentially still have two babies. Two diapers to change, two mouths to feed, two voices to listen to. You deserve more love and attention than what you’ve been getting. It’s hard, because try as I might, I never feel like I cuddle with you enough, or play with you enough, or talk to you enough because I’m always trying to diffuse your sister’s latest crying fit.
But you have my word that Mommy will try to do better. I wanted to treat each of you like you are my only child, but that’s downright impossible. So I’ll just have to work on growing my heart, my attention, my hugs, my patience and my time so that it’s equal space for both of you.
I love you so much, Thomas.
Love you forever and ever,
Mommy
awww. I’m a twenty something mom too- it’s nice to find other blogs by “young” mom’s!
Awwww! I love it!
Awww, I think you do a good job, even though I did notice how demanding Ayanna is. That’s why I tried to play with Thomas a bit more. I can’t imagine how it would be trying to split my time and love between two children, that’s another reason I don’t want another child. Could I love the 2nd one the same way I love my first? Whether I could or not, I don’t want to take that love and any attention away from Jaedyn. It wouldn’t be fair to him in my opinion. Yeah having a sibling can be good so the kid will have someone else to play with, etc., but he’s about to have 2 cousins right around the corner, so he won’t be lonely 😉
@ Samantha – I’m heading over to your blog now. I love finding other young mom blogs too!!
@ Courtney – Yes, do you see what I’m dealing with? I felt horrible because TJ has essentially been gone for an entire week. He went out of town, but when he came back he had to work late, meaning I had to put the kids to bed by myself. I definitely love them equally, but the fact is, only one kid can sit on my lap at a time, no matter how hard I try!! It’s frustrating, and since Ayanna’s more mobile and more vocal about her needs, I’m usually tending to her. I try to spend some cuddle time with Thomas each day, or make sure I hold him while I’m fixing something for her, but it’s hard. I’m sure things will turn around though when he’s a little older and they can play together…