“This might piss off a lot of people, but I think it’s easier for moms in their 30s to let themselves go. I mean, at that point, things start heading south anyway and most people in your age group, kids or no kids, start fighting the battle of the bulge.”

I’m in my 30s and totally agree with you, actually. If I were in my early 20s with a baby and the body I have now (because of the baby), I definitely wouldn’t be happy. I did enjoy my 20s as a childless, carefree woman…. wore the little shorts, the cute mid-drift tops, enjoyed being a size 3-4, and life was sweet – wrought with dates and club nights with the girls. It was a freedom that I enjoyed then, but that I don’t miss now. I’m such a different person today (and that happened with age, more so than with having a baby), and I feel fulfilled knowing that I lived those early years to the fullest. So yeah, I can definitely see how, looking at those young, carefree 20-something women, could somehow feel bittersweet for a young mommy – even if you are happy with things now in your life.

As always, great post!

I have boobs that have been covered with stretch marks (along with my thighs and hips) since I hit puberty at 14. If I went out braless everyone would know it. I’d look like I had no boobs at, and a strangely lumpy fat tummy.

I guess I never get to experience the awesomeness of being young and hot that everyone talks sooo much about.

How is the hot yoga? How long do you do it for? Where do you go? Is it expensive? How hot does it get? Does it work?

And….back to regular scheduled questions.

So you go braless on the weekends, too? And the breeze is relaxing…Hmmm…

I don’t know. I feel like I need support. I don’t like them flopping around, it bothers me. Maybe I’ll buy some dresses and see how that goes….

okay so i pull up my broomstick skirts, tuck/pin ‘em just right, and wear it like a strapless dress. my girls hold my dresses up just right.

i do hot yoga and at the moment i have a little plump so i’m not about to deal with a stubborn bra… so i just pull up my dresses.

i went braless a few years back. now im back to this style. it felt good then and it feels good now!!

I’m size 22 bottom, sized 14(large)/16 up top.

im about a 42D bra size!! hehe ive never had “perky” boobs, whatever that means – maybe when i was 10. hell i dont remember. but i’ve always been a big girl and had big boobs since i was 12/13.

they get in my armpits but i just move them out the way
cool breeze sweeping under there feels great…very relaxing lol

its great having your 20s to yourself. But honestly I wouldn’t know how good or bad it was in comparison to having children because I didn’t have children at the time. That’s what I am saying, I may have loved having children in my 20s!! I will never know that! So i don’t worry about it…

It’s hard raising kids, it’s hard building a career (I’m an engineer). All of it is hard. Life is hard. Nobody who is doing the good work has it easy. And no one has it better than the other… its all good.

I know it can be lonely. But you made a great decision. Most women wait to have children nowadays (although i think the trend is moving towards women having children earlier like yourself). So look for women in your age group who have children and understand where you are coming from, there are plenty around im sure! you have to look around. im sure your blog will attract women in your situation.

By the way, the 20s vs 30s thing is a conceptual. It is all one continuum. Society tries to make them seem like two separate “eras”. They are different, but personally you don’t experience it that way, really. Your existence is continuous if you know what i mean.

lol, it feels good to wear no bra. Boo to me then:) i’ll take a boo and a breeze all day!:)

i don’t put one on after my yoga classes in the evenings and i don’t wear one on the weekends. its too constricting. i get stares from women (older and younger). its hilarious. i feel like a hippie sometimes, and im a big girl (like thick)…

And men are totally mesmerized, as an observation – I have a loving man at home, so I’m not interested:).

So women if you’re trying to catch a man: Don’t wear a bra under that tunic or dress. Men will go nuts for you! Men like propped up boobs, but they salivate over natural, saggy boobs. It’s a mark of confidence that they don’t see normally from women.

a beautiful woman in her 70s complimented me once. She said “now you’re sexy”. I knew i got it right at that point.

hehe but I digress:)…

Okay, so I don’t know if I came off as mean, or insulted, but I wasn’t. I just honestly wanted to know what it felt like to have your 20s to yourself. To do you. To get to know you. To build your career. I can do all the things you do, but with kids waiting for me at home. So I’m not jealous or envious of you (or any childless chick, er, woman). It’s just…

Don’t you ever have one of those days where you feel like an outsider in your peer group? Maybe you don’t, but I do. Frequently. My husband still works at our alma mater, so whenever I visit him or help out with his program, I’m surrounded by these college girls (some just a year or two younger than me) and I think to myself, “I have nothing in common with them.” It’s kind of isolating, and frustrating, that I have more in common with my 39-year-old co-worker than people born in 1985, like me.

I agree that our choices are our choices and no one path in life is better than the other. I don’t regret having kids at 21. Despite all my complaining and rants and breakdowns (lol), I enjoy being a mom. Is it my favorite thing in the world all day every day months upon end? Nope. But I recognize that I made the choice to become a mom and I work as hard as I can to be a great one.

Thanks for coming back to reply!

And STILL, boo to you for going braless. I tried it last night and oh, it was sooo sad. LOL.

What I was getting at (in a babbly, roundabout way) was that you made the right and good decision. Keep up the good work.

i was ready at 24, but now that I am 30 I am more mature and even more ready. Say at 32 or 34 is a good time. Something happens to you at 30 that is (almost) impossible to fathom while in your 20s (at least for me). You get “it”, you know, you get what this whole life thing is about. (There was no way for me to tell what frame of mind I would be in at 30 when I was 24.)

You realize that anyone who is managing life the best way they know how, and is being responsible, is doing life very well.

Unfortunately due to physics, we cannot be in two places at the same time:). You can’t have children and go clubbing on the weekends. It is impossible and if you try your life will be very chaotic.

I won’t know how it is to have children at 24. You (may) not know how it is to be able to go clubbing every weekend at 24. It’s not a big deal, because none of us has lost anything. We will all be better people for our choices and experiences, and end up (God willing) in our 40s and 50s enjoying life with grown children. That’s when the real party starts anyway! Now that I am 30 I understand what they mean when they say life really begins at 40!

So because we can’t be in 2 places at once, we all think we’ve missed out on the “party”, the big “unknown”. We think the unknown is to some degree better than what we are experiencing now. For example, young single women think that you have it all – a solid family and beautiful children. They wish they were in your shoes when they see you with husband and baby. They get sick of wearing high heels and making sexy faces in the club, meeting slug after slug. It gets old quick (especially when you hit about 24!).

So relatively the “fun young single life thing” lasts about 2 years beyond 23. After that you settle into round table discussions talking world issues with your girlfriends at each other’s houses – things that I and my friends (some with kids) have enjoyed over the last 6 years.

One of my girlfriends wished that she was married and had children at 23. You are blessed.

For myself, me and my fiancé are working on our careers and will be ready to start a family pretty soon.

So I say again, keep up the great work. You are a smart woman, and you exercised good judgment and made a wise decision.

Okay, first of all, boo to you for going without a bra. Just BOOOOOO! LOL. I’m glad you were able to get to know yourself and work on your career and live the “fun life” during your 20s. Tell me, do you think you would have been ready for the challenge of having a baby, say, at 24? Obviously you enjoy the way your life is now (kudos)….would you have missed out on things or have to postpone some goals? Just curious…

Don’t worry being in your 30s is liberating. And it will be here before you can blink your eyes (just think, how recent were you 16?)! Trust me. So enjoy your life and don’t worry about other people! the grass is greener seems like for too many people. everyone thinks their life sucks. Well we’re all experiencing life!! This IS life (our choices, activities) and it is beautiful. Be grateful you have your health and can experience it.

Your perspective will change when you turn 30 cause you will see other 23 year-olds complain about the same things you’re complaining about now.

As you mature you won’t care what other people think about your lifestyle or appearance. release of those mental shackles is freedom. And I wear no bra…most days of the week and on weekends:). Feels good to let the breeze hit the girls.

And yes, I realized that I’ve gotten a jump on motherhood so I can do things in my 30s that these chicks won’t get a chance to ’cause they’re saddled with newborns. Ahhh…the irony is kind of sweet, isn’t it?

Now about these childless chicks, let me let you in on a little secret. If you visualize that same girl with “cankles” and a maternity dress you FEEL so much better! LOL! Look at how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished and think about how SEXY your portfolio is going to look in 5-10 years. Young, beautiful, successful, professional MOTHER who is oozing with the SEXY. While they are just settling into mommy-hood, your kids will be old enough to watch themselves so you and hubby can go gallivanting in the Caribbean!